This fairy tale story was written by me when I was bored and trying to get Xander’s attention in Facebook chat. You can actually see him trying to tell me to stop telling the story (good thing I didn’t cause a masterpiece was born!). So forgive the informal writing, but it is shown pretty much exactly the way I wrote it in 2009 on chat. This will probably be the fairy tale I tell my kids ( I refuse to tell them we simply met in college–boring!!)
Enjoy!
I think I should tell myself a story
once upon a time
9:43pmAlexander
stop
9:43pmNatalie
there was a beautiful princess
and her name was Natalina
now Natalina was the fairest maiden of them all
but she was under an evil spell
her mother was holding her captive
no one could have her
and so Natalina too thought that she was doomed to live in the dungeons of her mothers heart forever
until…
one day
there was one man
who decided to fight
he knew it would be difficult
everyone told him to let it go
there were other maidens he could have
but he said no
he had to have Natalina
so he left his castle in the snowy mountains of Switzerland
to pursue this maiden
and so he raced through jungles
battled with lions
and a monkey
and finally got to the place he needed to be
the place of no return
no one dared to venture this fiery and evil dwelling place
many had died in their pursuits
and so the prince…Gerard Butler
decided to take out his sword…
ah hah! YOUR NOT paying attention!
anyways
the real prince was devastingly handsome
he had a fierce look about him
He had scruffy features
great eyebrows
and deep green eyes
His arms were beautifully sculpted
his chest broad
and legs like iron
every woman wanted him
every woman in the snowy mountains wanted him, for he showed great skill in the snow
But alas
he had his heart set on the princess whom he had heard so much about
all he had heard was that she was exotic looking, and this frightened off many men
but not this one
he was tired of all the golden haired lasses
he wanted someone who would take his breath away
and so with this in mind
he trespassed through the fiery pits of Victorialand
he heard a noise
he looked around him
and saw nothing
he kept walking until he heard it again
all of a sudden, the fires of the volcanoes turned off
it was pitch black
“Who turned the fire off?” His unbelievably deep voice asked
“No need for the light be on. Like I said, I have no income!” a voice shouted out
it was a woman’s voice
“Who are you?” He asked
“It is I, Victorias sister. They call me Dollyia”
“Well Dollyia, how can I make it so I can see to get to my beloved who is waiting to be rescued?”
“Hmmm”
she answered
“I shall tell you, if you answer correctly this one question”
“Agreed”, he said
“Do you agree with the policies of our current king, Rackobam?”
“That is an assured no.” He stated
“You may pass, but turn off the fire on your way out!!”
“Alright ma’m” (she is crazy! he thinks to himself)
And so the fire turns back on
he jumps over the lava
with one giant leap
(he is genetically enhanced)
and so
on he trails
until he comes to the castle
He decides to ring the bell
The door opens after 5 minutes
slowly
but no one is there
A woman appears
“Hark!” he says
“Who goes there?” A beautiful voice asked.
She is standing in the shadows, a veil over her head
“Are you the one they call Natalina?”
Silence
“Answer me princess! I am here to rescue you!”
She slowly turns around, and unveils her face.
“Who are you?” Her gentle voice asks
“I am Alexander the great. Are you Natalina?”
“I am not. I am called Cheskalina.”
“Cheskalina, what an unusual name!” He remarks
“Tis.” She replies
“Your beauty surpasses most in this land.” He said
“I am aware.” She said. “No one comes though. It is too much work to get to Victorialand. I fear I am not worth it.”
“Never think that, fair maiden! One will come! For you are definitely worth it! Not only for your beauty but for the kindess and peaceful spirit I see in you.”
“I thank you fine gentleman. You seek Natalina, my sister?”
He nodded. “I do, my heart will be complete once I am with her.”
“Ay.” She said
“How can I get to her?
“You can find her sleeping. I am out doing errands while she sleeps. This is common for most days. Her room is past my mothers. My mother is in there right now.”
She put her hand on his shoulder
“Good luck, sir. I do hope you can get to her. I see greatness in you.”
“Do not worry, fair maiden. I shall get to her, no problem!”
And so Alexander the Great went down the hall
and knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
A tired voice called out
Suddenly Alexander hesitated
maybe this wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought it would be
“Ma’am?”
“Yes? What do you want? Why are you screaming at me?”
“I’m sorry ma’m this is just how my voice is” He replied.
“Oh”. Was all she said
She was in her closet cleaning
“Who are you?”
“I am called Alexander the Great, and I am here to marry your daughter Natalina.”
“Why?”
She asked.
“Why? My heart longs for her, and only her and I will cherish her until the moment I die.”
“Hmmm. How do I know you’re a good guy?”
“You will have to trust me ma’am. I was raised in a great home and I am a man of many useful talents.”
“I see,” She said looking him up and down
“You’re not what I had pictured for my daughter, young man.”
It felt like a knife had went through his heart
“But if you will treat her well, then you can ask her yourself, if she’ll have you. Her door is over there.”
She pointed to a door that was down another hallway
“Thank you ma’am.”
He approached the door and stopped, trying to think if he really knew what he was getting into.
With a deep breath, he opened the door, and found stairs that led to a dark tunnel
He fumbled through cobwebs as he walked down the stairs
Till finally he saw lights through the hall way.
he walked in to the room and held his breath
There she was, standing in the sunlight, more beautiful then he could ever imagine. She looked just like the woman of his dreams. Long flowing black hair and piercing green eyes under luscious long lashes
She was in a word…stunning to him
He was speechless
“Natalina?”
He asked
She looked at him strangely.
“Who are you?” She asked
“It is I. The man who has come to rescue you from this evil place.”
“Rescue? Who needs rescuing? Not I!”She said, arms folded firmly together
“But…” He looked around “You are Natalina right, fairest maiden of them all, lives in the dungeon of Victorialand?”
“Yes, yes and yes,” she said. “But I do not to be rescued. You see this window here?” She showed him the window
“There are no locks sir. I can leave whenever I want. My mother cannot hold me down. I have no chains”
“Why won’t you let me take you out of here?” He asked
“I have to say, I am impressed that you have made it here, it’s been so long since a man has tried. I am flattered good sir, that you have heard about my beauty and wished to see it for yourself. Well, you have seen it, and now you know that I do not need to be rescued. What do you wish to do now?”
She asked
“I have a snowy castle, I can teach all sorts of pleasurable activities on the snow.” He said
“I do not know the snow. ” She replied.
“What do you know?” He asked “What do you like?”
And so they spent the next 4 hours talking about their lives, her likes and dislikes and his likes and dislikes.
She finally stood up
“Because sir, you have cared to pursue my heart, I shall leave with you at once.”
His heart leaped. “I have loved our conversation, and am further convinced of our destiny to be together,” he said.
“I feel now as if you love me for more than my beauty.” She said
“I do. I love your laugh, your smile, your sarcasm, your humor, everything about you! And I do not think that I can live without you for another moment!”
“What is today?” She asked
“I believe today is the 6th day of February.”
“What a wonderful day! We shall be married at once!” She exclaimed
And so they went upstairs and told her mother who cried and held on tight
but finally let go
“I love you mother, and always will!” Natalina said as she left, hand in hand with Alexander the Great
They both hugged her sister and they were off
They lunged through the fiery pits and waved to Dollyia who was scrubbing a burn stain on the ground
And so they both rode on his strong stallion until they hit the snow
and then they both jumped on a long board that slid them through the snow
They stopped and did a backside 360 then kept going down the hill until they went to his castle
and on that day they were married
and lived happily ever after
the end!!!
1) Think of the time you first met your bride. Was it memorable? Can you remember the details? If it is a humorous and entertaining story, then there you go. You don’t even have to keep reading the other suggestions. If you do want to use how you first met in your speech, then remember to show and not tell. Use words that will make your audience feel like they are right there with you, seeing the whole scene unfold through your eyes. Allow your bride to relive the scene in her head and as a result bring a huge smile to her face. Make sure this doesn’t take up your entire speech either. Use the first minute and a half for the story, and the rest about the bride and groom, and how happy you are for them and so on. If there is something that was said by the bride in the past that can be used in the present, then use it! You can say “Sara told me 4 years ago that she would never date a guy without a good head of hair, and today has fulfilled that promise. I wish you both all the happiness in the world. May you always listen to each other, love each other, care for one another, and most importantly, keep Mens Rogaine in the bathroom drawers.” (Ok, this isn’t my best work but you get the picture).
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